Your Guide to the 2023 NFL Season

Ah yes, it’s your favorite blogger back from the dead, just in time for the best time of the year. The NFL season is BACK! and I could not be happier. Nothing is better than two big, sweaty men hitting each other at full speed and causing years of physical and mental damage to their bodies. But that’s why we watch. It’s going to be an exciting and unpredictable season. There are a lot of good teams. There are a lot of bad teams, and I will enjoy every last second of it. So, with all that mumbo jumbo out of the way, let’s get to why you are here. This blog will be your complete guide to the 2023 NFL season. My favorite bets, best storylines, division winners, and most importantly, who will win the big game.

Best Storylines:

Lions – The Detroit Lions will have all the eyes on them as they open the season against the defending Super Bowl champs. A lot of pressure is on them as people see them making the most significant jump and becoming a legit contender in the NFC. They have a fiery coach who talks a lot of nonsense (which I love), a 1st round running back, and the media guaranteeing they will make the playoffs. What could go wrong? It would be very Lions to have all the hype going into the season just for it to all blow up in their face.

Jets – A team in New York that ends in “ets” acquiring veteran talent at the end of their careers? That hasn’t backfired at all in 2023. The Jets will be a fun team to watch because they will either be an outstanding team or a complete train wreck. Just like the Lions pulling a Lions, the Jets could pull a Jets. 

Cardinals – Everyone knows the Cardinals are bad, but watching how bad they will be will be entertaining to watch and bet against. They are about to perform the biggest tank job in the NFL since the Jags tanked for Trevor Lawrence, and it might be worse. I can easily see the Cardinals getting one win as they try and get their new franchise QB, Caleb Williams, and let Kyler Murray die out on another team next year.

Rookie QBs – If you asked me four months ago who would be my favorite rookie QB, I would tell you C.J. Stroud, but the media has me going all in for Anthony Richardson. Richardson will have the best rookie season of all the rookie QBs, and he has my money to win Offensive Rookie of the Year. He has the most talent for year one and the athleticism to do some crazy shit.

Broncos – I might be creating drama in my head, but by the end of the season, Russell Wilson and Sean Payton will hate each other. Wilson was able to get away with so much stuff last year, and with Payton coming in and laying the hammer, I could see tension brewing between the two. Immediately after Payton was hired, he took away Wilson’s personal office, and now it feels like he’s personally shitting on him, telling him to stop being the corny person he is. I feel like something will happen, especially if the Broncos have a similar season they had last year.

My Favorite Bets:

Geno Smith u3825.5 Passing Yards (-112) – Geno had an incredible season last year and got a big chunk of money for his performance. He proved the haters wrong and brought Seattle to the playoffs, but I see last year as a one-hit-wonder. Smith will regress to the norm this season and fall short of his passing yard total. After this season, Geno will write back. 

Justin Fields o2775.5 Passing Yards (-112) – Justin Fields was an incredible rushing quarterback last season and made significant strides in his passing game. I only see Fields getting better this season, as his passing yards will go up now that he’s under a consistent coaching system and has a true WR #1 in DJ Moore. If I could, I’d bet Fields to have over 3000 passing yards.

Nick Chubb o1200.5 Rushing Yards (-112) – Nick Chubb is one of the best, if not the best, running backs in the NFL. Chubb has been consistent his whole career, rushing for over 1200 yards in three out of the last four seasons while only missing six games in that span. Chubb is guaranteed to run for over 1,200 yards, especially now that he’s the only star in that backfield with Kareem Hunt out of the picture. 

Tony Pollard o1000.5 Rushing Yards (-112) – This is a tail pick from my friend Chris, who you can follow on Instagram as he gives out free picks in the NFL and UFC. Pollard should easily rush for over 1,000 yards with the Cowboys offensive line this season.

Jalen Hurts o10.5 Rushing Touchdowns (-108) – Jalen Hurts was a machine last year when it came to running the ball into the endzone. This season will be no different. When the Eagles get to the goal line, Hurts will score a TD most of the time. No defense can stop that QB sneak, and the Eagle will continue to take advantage of it. 

Amon-Ra St. Brown o5.5 Receiving Touchdowns (-135) – Last season, the world saw the emergence of a star. Amon-Ra St. Brown was dominant every time he got on the field, and he will be better this season. Brown is the only star player on that offense, and I see his number increasing dramatically. 

New York Giants o7.5 Wins (-104) – This is a biased pick as I am a Giants fan, but the hate for the Giants this season is getting out of hand. The Giants’ schedule is significantly more challenging than last year, but must we forget the Giants have the reigning coach of the year on the team? Must we forget how dominant Saquon Barkley was last year? This is a good football team that will match its win total from last year. 

Arizona Cardinals u3.5 Wins (+120) – This is a risky bet, I get it, but the Arizona Cardinals will STINK this year. They have minimal talent on this team and a QB who should never sniff a starting spot. They had a decent QB in Colt McCoy, who could win them four games, but Joshua Dobbs won’t come close to it. It also helps that they are tanking for Caleb Williams, so they have incentives to lose. Also, plus money!

Kansas City Chiefs to win the AFC West (-160) – The Chiefs should win the AFC West. Less we forget they have Patrick Mahomes.

San Francisco 49ers to win the NFC West (-132) – I got this pick boosted, and I felt it guaranteed the 49ers to win their division. 

Lamar Jackson to win MVP (+900) – Read below for my thoughts on Lamar Jackson.

Anthony Richardson to win Offensive Rookie of the Year (+550) –  I already sucked off Richardson enough above, but he will be great in Indianapolis this season. 

Kansas City Chiefs to win the Super Bowl (+600) – The Chiefs are the best team in the NFL, so I made a small bet on them to win it all. I made the mistake last year by not betting it, and I’m not making that same mistake this time around.  

San Fransico 49ers to win the Super Bowl (+1000) – This is my true pick on who will win the Super Bowl, as I have 2.5u on it. The 49ers would have won the NFC Championship game last year if they had a usable QB, but this year will be the year. They have the most talented team in the NFL and the smartest coach in the NFL. Kyle Shanahan will finally get the credit he deserves when he wins the big game. 

Baltimore Ravens to win the Super Bowl (+1800) – This is my value pick for who will win the Super Bowl. They have an outstanding and, for some reason underrated, QB. Jackson will be phenomenal this season now that the contract talk is out of his mind. He can focus on football and go back to that MVP level. Hopefully there’s no diarrhea. 

Division Winners – (* = playoffs)

NFC East:

1. Philadelphia Eagle
2. New York Giants*
3. Washington Commanders*
4. Dallas Cowboys

Yes, the Dallas Cowboys will finish last in the NFC East. I think Dak is a bad QB, and this will be the season where he kills the Cowboys. He will have another high-interception season, resulting in the Cowboys having only 6-8 wins. The Eagles are the masterclass of the division, and the Giants will follow them again into the playoffs. The Commanders getting new ownership alone puts them in the playoffs, but their talent does not hurt. I wish they still had Taylor Heinicke at QB, but the Commanders have some good offensive weapons that will help Sam Howell/ 

NFC North: 

1. Lions
2. Packers*
3. Vikings*
4. Bears

This will be a fun division to watch, and the Lions will just squeeze out and be the division winners. I was joking about how they won’t live up to expectations earlier, but I seriously see them as a legit contender. The Lions will win the division by 1-2 games. Jordan Love and the Packers are going to shock people. Love will show everyone why the wait was necessary, and in his first full season as a starter, he will make the playoffs. The Vikings are in limbo with Kirk Cousins but should still be a competitive team. Kirk is Kirk, but a solid QB with one of the best receivers in the game. They might have lost Dalvin Cook, but Alexander Mattison should easily replace him and have a solid season.

NFC South:

1. Falcons
2. Saints
3. Buccaneers
4. Panthers

What a snoozefest this division is. Only the Saint and Falcons will be “competitive” in this division as they will fight for 1st place with 8 or 9 wins. I give the edge to the Falcons because of the talent they have on their offense. Ridder should be able to have a good season with players like Robinson, Pitts, London, and Patterson. Also, I am not Carr’s biggest fan, so I have the Falcons winning the division. 

NFC West:

1. 49ers
2. Seahawks
3. Rams
4. Cardinals

There is no shock here, as the 49ers will steamroll this division. I get division rivalries and all that, but the Niners should win all their games against these teams. The Cardinals will be the worst team in the NFL, the Rams will be a trainwreck with an injured Stafford and Kupp, and Geno Smith will regress.

AFC East:

1. Bills
2. Jets*
3. Dolphins*
4. Patriots

This will be the most competitive division in the NFL. All four teams have a chance to have a positive record by season’s end, but the Pats will just miss out on the playoffs. I think they will solve many problems from last season, like having a real offensive coordinator, but they will fall short because of QB play. The Dolphins and the Jets will have a similar record, but the Jets get 2nd place because of their superior defense. Then we have the Bills, who I feel are being disrespected. Josh Allen is a top 3 QB and will remind people of that when he wins the division and the Bills have the best record in the NFL. 

AFC North:

1. Ravens
2. Bengals*
3. Browns
4. Steelers

It’s another competitive division, but I have the Ravens on top. I think Lamar Jackson will return to MVP form and lead the Ravens to the top record in the division. I think the Joe Burrow injury is a little more serious than we are being told, and it will hold the Bengals back for the first few weeks. The Browns and Steelers will just miss out on the playoffs but will be fighting for the last wild card spots at the end of the season. 

AFC South:

1. Jaguars
2. Colts
3. Titans
4. Texans

Yawn. We all know the Jags will win this division. The rest of the teams are nowhere as competitive or talented to compete. 

AFC West:

1. Chiefs
2. Chargers*
3. Broncos
4. Raiders

Another shocking prediction. The Chiefs are the Chiefs and will continue to dominate the AFC West. Patrick Mahomes is still him, so until he is gone, it’s hard to predict otherwise.  

Championship Games:

NFC Champion – 49ers defeat Eagles

AFC Championship – Bills defeat Ravens

Super Bowl – 49ers defeat Bills

There we have it. You reached the end of the blog, and the Bills are losing another Super Bowl. I can’t praise the Niners much more, but they are so damn good. They are a better team than in almost all areas besides QB, and we saw that didn’t matter last year. If the 49ers have a healthy quarterback, they win it all. Now let’s enjoy some damn football!